Trailing Thoughts

I am attempting to become a runner.  I'm not quite sure how that is going yet as I am very slow.  I'm about the speed of a turtle sprinting through molasses on a winter's day, but I am enjoying the outdoors, the trail I run on, and all the inspiration it brings.  

I try to do about 3 miles everyday between Monday and Friday.  It gives me time to think about my day, go over things on my mind, and most importantly, it gives my mind that time to wander.  More often than not, it's been roaming into my creative mind; my writing mind.

It started out as a way to get healthy, become more active, and give my body more energy to keep up with my one and three year old girls.  Thankfully, I have achieved two out of three. 

What I did not expect was the sudden creative flow that seemed to come out inside me.  Perhaps it's the scenery.  I won't lie, the scenery is gorgeous and definitely inspirational.  I am so lucky to have such a great trail run so close to home. The wildlife is quite spectacular too! And even quite friendly!

In the last two days, I've seen a total of 9 deer.  I've seen several butterflies, and I guess I must smell pretty sweet to a butterfly when I'm sweaty because they've definitely taken a liking to me at times, landing on me over and over again as if I'm some sort of flower.  Perhaps these butterflies have olfactory issues, methinks.  I've also seen hawks, gorgeous large birds of prey, the size of barn owls!

I always pegged myself to be a nature-lover from afar, but now I think I'm changing my stripes, or beginning to.  What better inspiration is there in life?

As I run my mind wanders, and suddenly I see the stories laying themselves out on that trail run, running along beside me, singing their tales to me through the cicadas and the birds.  It is magical.

This then gets my mind on the comment left by Melanie in the last entry.  I wish a mind-transcriber existed. I need one of those. Most definitely, I require them on my runs.  It would save a lot of time if I didn't have to write things down.  Even more, by the time I'm back at the car after a three-mile run, I'm afraid I just cannot remember every thought I've had.  Why do the brilliant thoughts seem to leap out of your mind the quickest?

So here's a task for someone: invent a portable mind-transcriber.  Do that and I will help you make millions! I won't even ask for a penny myself, so long as you give me one for free. 

Alas, it is that time to say farewell to the night and slip beneath the blankets to dream of velvety things.

Adieu, for the moment.

Transcendence

In many ways, picking up writing again, is like getting back on a bicycle. Sure, you never forget once you learn, but you're probably still a little wobbly and could use some practice before going back out in public.

Perhaps this only happens with me. Nonetheless, that's how it feels. I let my hubby go out for a bit so he could get some "him" time. We both get that rarely, so he took up the offer without much hesitation. The girls then took it upon themselves to play together in their room; and nicely too! 

I was sitting at the computer, thinking of what I wanted to do, and suddenly it came to me: write. Write already! I mean, I've been wanting to for so long. Why not now? So I did.

It took a long to time to get into that place. I turned on some music, tried to figure out where I would write (there is no document software on this computer curently), and then I stared at a blank page.

Within a few moments, I forced myself to type anything that came to mind. Once I was typing, it came to me, and I was writing. Badly, in my opinion, but I didn't care because I was writing again. 

Five minutes later, Megan was asking for her "boppy" which means bottle, and it was bedtime.

By the time I got back, I will be honest that trying to get back into that mindset felt a bit daunting. But that is part of being a parent, and it's something I will have to keep working at until I can slip into the mindset whenever I need it. It will take time, but it will come.

It felt great, by the way. Like coming home after an extremely long day.

How does writing feel to you? 

On the Other Side of the Coin

Gaps mean life is happening.  Shhhh, don't disturb it because I love experiencing life.

So much has changed since November.  I'm not sure if I mentioned beforehand, but I worked as a temp back in November.  A job opened up and three weeks later, the job was over.  After that, I didn't work for about a month until another posting came up.  With that position, I was commuting an hour to work (in good weather), and in Michigan (Northern USA, for you non-US peeps), good weather was very hard to come by in January.

I hated the position.  I hated the commute.  The job was boring, with little to nothing to do.  All that kept me going was my commitment to a friend that I would be at that job.  And the money was more than a little needed.

I hated that job so much, I cried after a week while at work.  I just didn't want to do it anymore.  I just didn't know if I could handle the on again, off again status with no vacation, benefits, anything.  And then something more than a little wonderful happened...

I had applied for several jobs over the last year.  More than a few.  I started branching out in October and November when nothing was panning out.  One job was for an Administrative Assistant position for my church in a tiny little town of about 6000 people in East Texas.  I applied.  My sister is planning to move to Texas this year (she still has yet to, but I'm holding her to it), so we wouldn't be too far from family.

I heard nothing, so I assumed the position, like so many others I had applied for, was gone.

I was at the end of my rope in late January.  All the schooling, hard work, everything that I had done didn't seem to be taking me anywhere.  I prayed so much that month.  I prayed for someone, anyone to give me a chance.  I guess Heavenly Father decided to give me that chance because the day I had to turn around after 3 hours of trying to get to work, to no avail (and I had to eat all that money in gas)... that day, I received a call from a thick Texan-accented man who wanted to arrange a phone interview.

It was a deer-in-headlights moment.  I wasn't sure if I should even call back.  Texas?! What had I been thinking to apply in Texas?  And a small town in Texas at that?

With some encouragement from my husband, I called back and arranged the interview for the next day during lunch.  The whole thing was nerve-wracking to say the least.

The interview lasted the whole of my lunch and breaks, and then I went back to work.  I got a text about 3 hours after the interview to call the guy back and when I did, on my way out to the car from work, I was offered the job.

I started crying again, in a great and wonderful way.  So my husband and I had a decision to make.  Can you guess what it was?

We moved to Texas, and for a little over three months now, I've been working at my new job.  It has cool things, like a 401K, benefits, a pension plan (I didn't even know they still had those), and vacation and sick time that I could accrue over time.  It's been a crazy and wonderful year so far.

So that, in a nutshell, is where I've been.

Have I been writing?  I've been wanting to.  Desperately, especially now as I'm beginning to get settled in.  I miss it, truly.  On the up side, I've been reading a lot lately.  And I've been spending as much time as I can with my family.

I'm also working on getting back into shape, getting healthier, and getting my energy back to do what I need and want to do.

It's an adventure!  Do I feel I've lost my way in writing?  Not really.  Not really at all.

Why not?  Because life is inspiration.  You can't glean inspiration by doing nothing.  I look at this as my research and development stage.  I see this as my inspiration.  My life, my family.

Even more, I'm happy.  And I think I write better than when I'm not.  And I think I'm more receptive to the world around me, in all its glory.

As for Texas, we love it.  Sure, it's hot right now (actually, fairly mild considering what it normally is), but I feel like I'm home.  Or at least, very close to home, here.

Writing is never better than when you're at home.  At home in your surroundings, at home in your head, at home in your heart.

I'm home.