|Firstlings of Fall|
However, through all of this, we are beginning to adjust and adapt. It may not be in the most efficient way, or in a way that allows us to get all that we need to done, but we are adjusting nonetheless.
Autumn is setting in here, and that is helping to keep my spirits up. My runs are becoming more and more breathtaking, which allows my creative juices to pour out in more liberal helpings. I do so love a liberal helping of creative juice.
My fingers are itching to write' so much, in fact, I scrambled through the house to write thoughts on a page,and could not, of course, find anything to write on. I finally, succumbed to desperation and wrote in my journal, leaving a disclaimer that it was thoughts on a story and not my everyday burbling.
I wrote! It was atrocious! But I wrote. And I want to write so much more now! It is bothering me to not be able to have more time. Even now, I want to skive off sharing these thoughts with you just so I can write an actual story; share a world that I have created.
Thankfully, that time seems to be moving upon me soon. Things at work are lightening in my load, allowing my thoughts to be more free and open to the stories lurking in the shadows, my in-laws will be coming at the end of this month to stay for 4 months. They are coming to spoil the girls, and I think I will let them.
I am so ready to write. I would stay up all night and write if my work and mothering didn't suffer because of it.
Some may wonder why I don't cut the strings and go in whole hog... Why don't I quit my job and write and make my way in a glorious tale of beating the odds? Because I won't allow myself that luxury.
My family matters more to me than anything, even over writing. To write, for me, is like eating and drinking. It is a passion, a love, a sweet dream that sustains my soul. But my family is my soul's oxygen. I need my family protected and taken care of before I indulge myself. That is the way it is for me. I cannot allow my family to suffer for the sake of my dream. It is mine and not theirs. And it is not necessary for them to suffer just so I can finish it faster.
I will write. I will sing on every page that I am blessed to entreat. But I will wait if I must. When I have a moment, a day, a week, I will take it.
On a side note: my birthday is coming up and my husband has decided to shower me at random times with gifts.