Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Sleepwalking in reality's dreams

I am exhausted. I wish I could say that I am coherent at the moment. All that keeps me on the fringe of consciousness is my diet cherry coke.

My husband just got a new job, hence the absence and the exhaustion.  I work days; he works evenings. So our days seem a little more like single-parenting than we'd like.  We'll just say that an adjustment period is upon us for the time being.  Hopefully, we will adjust quickly and things will even out soon.  I hope.

Things at work are amping up.  Towards the end of the year there are new things to pick up and learn that I haven't initially been trained in because well, they're only done once a year.  I have a business trip next week, and other important things coming up.

And it is fall, so Halloween is nearly upon us.  This evens it out for me, though it does add a certain level of stress in trying to fit in the family fun activities; like going to a pumpkin patch, getting costumes ready, decorating the house, and trying to remember all the stories and movies I watched at this time of year when I was growing up.

Let's just say I'm trying to take this one day at a time, on an average of 4 hours of sleep.  This is truly a difficult feat for me as I'm a hibernator.  I am one who enjoys snuggling deep within my cave of blankets and sleeping through the deep of night and into the warmth of morning. I relish my sleep, and at the moment, I envy its dreams and peaceful breathing.  It soothes my soul, calms my nerves, and keeps me levelheaded.

Needless to say, on four hours of sleep average for the past week or so, I've been a bit short with my girls.  It's annoying to not be able to control that snap attitude that blasts out of me when the girls act like, well, the little children they are.

But here I am, now rambling at you, and basically trying to say that this gibberish is my attempt at adding inspiration and creativity into my day.  It's been filled with everything else so far, and I think it required a little color on top.

Have a good evening, everyone! I hope to return soon, with more rest in my bones, and a better tale to spin.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Small Trinkets of a Treasury

I decided that today I would share a few old poems I wrote several years ago.  Feel free to comment, critique, or just enjoy:

10/28/2004
happy trees
dance and sway
in the joyful wind.


leapfrog leapfrog
hopping down the way
where is he going?
i cannot say.
but he hops
and he hops
hopscotching all the day
until he tires of hopping
and then hops home to stay.

10/29/2004
serpentine likeness
a body of shedding flesh
a mouth of smooth pink cotton
and the eyes of such predators
engulf the living whole
after its own touch of venom
slowly digesting the corpse
over an agonizing week
comprising a painful acidic death
its rattle should have whispered it
your mind should have decoded it:
warning you of its guise.

9/20/2006
may i go blind
and miss the sun
may i go deaf
and live in silence
may i be mute
my tongue limp and useless
may i never smell
another aroma of Christmas
but may i lose your love
then please
take my eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and fingers
with you
without you
they can only sense the darkness



Photo courtesy of Melanie Doi

i remember crayons
little fingers grasping tight to its
cerulean body
splashing the white paper with color
that only he could give it.

i recall sunshine
red tricycles glowing from its light
making it the greatest in all the world
the fastest in all the earth
more beautiful than all diamonds

i danced with a thousand fairies
flew with a thousand hawks
saw a thousand circuses
and laughed at a thousand jokes

i spoke a thousand languages
wrote a thousand books
i saw a thousand wonders
 that no one else could see
i lived a thousand adventures in every memory.

i could have kept going
but alas growing up took a hold of me and i forgot
as you did.

Photo courtesy of Melanie Doi

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Trailing Thoughts

I am attempting to become a runner.  I'm not quite sure how that is going yet as I am very slow.  I'm about the speed of a turtle sprinting through molasses on a winter's day, but I am enjoying the outdoors, the trail I run on, and all the inspiration it brings.  
I try to do about 3 miles everyday between Monday and Friday.  It gives me time to think about my day, go over things on my mind, and most importantly, it gives my mind that time to wander.  More often than not, it's been roaming into my creative mind; my writing mind.

It started out as a way to get healthy, become more active, and give my body more energy to keep up with my one and three year old girls.  Thankfully, I have achieved two out of three. 

What I did not expect was the sudden creative flow that seemed to come out inside me.  Perhaps it's the scenery.  I won't lie, the scenery is gorgeous and definitely inspirational.  I am so lucky to have such a great trail run so close to home. The wildlife is quite spectacular too! And even quite friendly!


In the last two days, I've seen a total of 9 deer.  I've seen several butterflies, and I guess I must smell pretty sweet to a butterfly when I'm sweaty because they've definitely taken a liking to me at times, landing on me over and over again as if I'm some sort of flower.  Perhaps these butterflies have olfactory issues, methinks.  I've also seen hawks, gorgeous large birds of prey, the size of barn owls!

I always pegged myself to be a nature-lover from afar, but now I think I'm changing my stripes, or beginning to.  What better inspiration is there in life?

As I run my mind wanders, and suddenly I see the stories laying themselves out on that trail run, running along beside me, singing their tales to me through the cicadas and the birds.  It is magical.

This then gets my mind on the comment left by Melanie in the last entry.  I wish a mind-transcriber existed. I need one of those. Most definitely, I require them on my runs.  It would save a lot of time if I didn't have to write things down.  Even more, by the time I'm back at the car after a three-mile run, I'm afraid I just cannot remember every thought I've had.  Why do the brilliant thoughts seem to leap out of your mind the quickest?

So here's a task for someone: invent a portable mind-transcriber.  Do that and I will help you make millions! I won't even ask for a penny myself, so long as you give me one for free. 

Alas, it is that time to say farewell to the night and slip beneath the blankets to dream of velvety things.

Adieu, for the moment.