A Certain Little Boy

The calming music goes on and here I am writing once more.  Simply because a certain little boy will not go to sleep. I'm hoping Chopin is lulling to him.  Only time will tell.

My guest for this evening.

I'll be honest. I was planning to flake off on everything tonight. I don't know why.  Today just seems to be a difficult day all around.  It's a mixture of a lot of things. Regardless, I just wanted a day to tell myself that I control everything with this, with my book. 

That and I've hit another difficult line in my book.  Editing can flow like writing, did you know that? I was doing so well.  And then I cam to the part I looked forward to most of all, and I hesitated.  Now suddenly I'm here and I'm unsure of myself all over again.

It's amazing how much of a see-saw I am.  Two steps forward, three steps forward, run, run, run, and then stop.  Go back now. Take it all back.  Because none of that was worth it.  Okay now one step forward, then another, another.  Take three more, now four, keep moving.  Wait, go back.  Ugh, what dance is this? I'm completely lost now.

This is my head.  Welcome to me.  Ugh, it's not as pretty as I make it out to be.  I try. Oh, do I try. But I always come to the difficulty, and I quake. 

A certain little man has now run back into his room. I get your game little one.  Make Mommy stop and write. Get 'er done, Mom. 

Thanks, little man.  Even if it sucks, I guess I'll try anyway.  Keep moving forward.  Just set your pace so you don't fall so hard.